her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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