But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
My dick has a subreddit
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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