Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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