dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Randomize
