Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
