i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
