Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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