Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
