do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
