He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
