Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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