anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I got inside last night via doggy door
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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