i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
