how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
