Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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