im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
