she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
