Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
We are all done wearing pants today
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
