I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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