You're so nebulous sometimes
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
