now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Why did my mother make you get naked?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
