So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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