Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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