Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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