Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
