I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
