No stitches, just platelets and will power
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
