i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
