I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
