you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize
