now i know why i became what i already was.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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