SEEEEXXX PLEASE
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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