One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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