Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
