dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
