i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
