in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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