i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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