I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
operation harelip BJ is a go
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
