Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
