No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Randomize
