hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Randomize
