u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
