Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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