he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
