Have you finally orgasmed yet?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
