Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Can you repeat that, but with context?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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