Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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