barbara walters just said penis...
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
