She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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