you're like a bully in the Christmas story
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
