i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
My bed is full of blood and feathers
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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