after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I showed him my bush... on skype.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
