Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
