I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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