for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
