you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
