sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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