maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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