You just made me feel so damn special
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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