the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
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Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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