i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
