Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Panties = found
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
